April 01, 2008

Dolly Parton

...Is a fucking freak of plastic surgery, and I'm not talking about the tits. I can believe that those were OEM; however I wonder sometimes if their current condition is not...surgically improved.

But funbags aside, her teeth are way too...complete and white to be some coalminer's daughter's gear, okay? I mean, no one in The South over the age of 65 has all their teeth and naturally blonde hair! Doesn't happen.

The only explanation is that she's an animatron. Maybe she escaped from Chuckie Cheese's or The Wheel of Progress at Disney World; but I can garandamntee you she ain't not friggin human.

Posted by shank at April 1, 2008 07:44 PM | TrackBack