November 09, 2005

Some frank admissions

If I think I can fart in a car or meeting and get away with it, I will. And I will deny culpability with extreme vehemence.

I wish nothing but the worst on the Optimist’s Club and all it’s members.

I daydream a lot.

For a slim guy, I can eat more than anyone I know.

I’m overly critical of everything.

If I shake someone’s hand I can’t relax until I can wash my hands again.

I hate recycling because I don’t like washing my garbage before I store it for days.

I will fight for the armrest on an airplane or in a movie theater.

I often find myself in contempt of others…for no good reason.

I do not like people who play golf. And talk about it.

My sense of humor will eventually be my downfall at work.

I wish I had a ten pound ball of Silly Putty.

Posted by Paul! at November 9, 2005 01:08 PM | TrackBack

None of these are very shocking, but the Silly Putty one raises some questions.

Posted by: Jennifer at November 9, 2005 06:52 PM

I'm with you on most of these - especially the armrests. If I go to a movie I get there early, take control of the armrests and never relinguish them.

Posted by: Jim at November 10, 2005 06:15 AM

Jen, it is obvious that you have never clutched a large gobbet of Silly Putty around your member, perhaps lubed with some Crisco, or something. I wouldn't know, myself. Nor would I know that it takes about ten eggs-full to get a decent, shall we say, 'tunnel' formed.

And, why yes, it does rinse out nicely under hot water, and also yes, the hot water gives you a great idea for the next performance.

Posted by: Bane at November 13, 2005 01:31 PM

Bane, somehow I think the majority of my readers will be relieved to know I have never put a gob of anything around my "member"...seeing as how I am without such appendage.

Posted by: Jennifer at November 14, 2005 03:57 PM

Whatever you say, "Jennifer".

Posted by: shank at November 14, 2005 05:47 PM

I must say truthfully, that I have never masterbated with silly putty, nor did I know it was possible.

Man, even I can't come up with something like that.

Posted by: Paul at November 15, 2005 07:12 AM
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