I watched a man make a presentation today, in which he tripped over the most unfortunate succession of spoonerisms and Freudian slips I have ever seen. It was painful to watch, but it's funny to share.
There's a guy, Joe we'll call him, who works in a division we work with a lot who has a great relationship with his boss. He's a young gun, but knows his stuff well; and his boss is a woman, let's call her Mary, of about fifty. Both are very sharp people, and a lot of the time they play off of eachother. I always thought they had a great dynamic going on.
Anyways, the guy's presenting an idea today in a steering committee meeting. At the end of his presentation he opens it up to questions, and Mary fires one right at him. It was a pretty good question, but we knew she was softballing it to him just to make sure he'd done his work. She said something like "Joe I know you're not stupid enough to have overlooked the blah blah blah" in a faux combative manner. Joe volley's back in an equal tone, "Of course I didn't you silly tit."
BEEEEEeeeeooooooooo. That's the sound of time screeching to a halt; I know becuase I heard it right after Joe's one liner. None of us had any idea what the hell he was thinking, calling Mary a fucking tit. I was beside myself trying not to laugh, trying not to point my finger in that way anyone with siblings knows: "OOOOOOOO! You're so TOAST!"
Time speeds back up: "...you silly tit. Twat." Now, above when I said time came to halt; well this time it hit a brick wall. I mean, I thought I was going to pass out. This guy just followed tit with twat! WTF Joe!
"...silly tit. Twat. I mean twit. I meant twit." This all happened very fast, like so: "Of course I did you silly tit..twatImeanttwit. TWIT." Of course, by the time that sorry bastard hit twat and before he was onto twit, Mary was fucking two shades past maroon and looked like she was going to burst. Joe's almost pleading with her. She broke for the door and Joe just stood there laughing nervously. none of us knew what to do . I mean, I wanted to laugh my ass off, but I wasn't going to draw any attention to myself.
I can't wait to see Joe at work tomorrow, "Sup tit."
Posted by Id at August 25, 2005 08:19 PM | TrackBackDamn that Paxil!
Posted by: Bane at August 26, 2005 02:19 AMHoly shit man, I'm almost crapping my pants I'm laughing so hard.. I've done almost exactly that though, that's the sad part.
Posted by: Oorgo at August 26, 2005 03:59 AMI would have laughed hysterically. I have no problem laughing at others in the workplace.
Posted by: Wolf at August 26, 2005 07:32 AMI'm with Wolf. Damn, that was funny. I'd have ruptured myself trying to hold it in.
Posted by: Ted at August 26, 2005 12:32 PMThe best put-your-foot-in-it episode I've ever witnessed at work...
Location: Employee Breakroom - Kinko's Inc. Corporate Offices, Ventura, California
Date: The mid-1990s
"Tough meeting, Bob?"
"Yeah, I just had to sit in a meeting with Tracey Goldstein. Have you ever had to deal with that cunt?"
"Yes, actually. She's my wife."
-- so quiet you could hear me slowly tiptoe away --
Posted by: Fritz at August 26, 2005 01:19 PMMaking me burst out laughing at work is BAD...real BAD.
Posted by: De at August 26, 2005 05:05 PM