June 27, 2005

I Fought the Law, and the Law Didn't Make Any Damn Sense.

So, I was driving home Friday night and I stopped at the gorcery store to pick up some beers. I came out of the grocery store parking lot and hopped onto the main road. Maybe a second later I see those old familiar blue lights flashing in my rearview. Fuck

Fuck 1) because I hate getting pulled over. I have a great driving record and it seems like cops know that and they try to fuck it up all the time. Fuck 2) because I had four drinks in the past 80 minutes or so.

I pull over immediately, flick on the dome light, and start fishing for my registration. Cop walks up and syas something obligatory. I ask what's up, I know I wasn't speeding. "Well, you blew the stop sign pulling out of the Food Lion back there," he says it like I did it to tease him.

"Oh damn. Honestly, I didn't even know there was one there."
"Have you had anything to drink tonight?"
Shit. I sigh. "Yeah, had four drinks."
"When was the last one?"
"Ah, 'bout fifteen minutes or so ago."
"Mind if I ask you to take a breathalyzer test?"
Shit. I sigh. "I guess not, no." I breathe into the tube, he says, "Well, looks like you blew a .09; right above the legal limit."
I die inside.
"But since you just had your last drink, I'm going back to the car and I'll be back in a few minutes." He returns to the cruiser.

So I'm sitting in my car, reviewing the scenarios sprinting through my mind; wondering why the hell he didn't show me the breathalyzer. I scrape my tongue, swear under my breath, check the rearview. Shit.

Cop comes back, I breathe. "Still showing a .09 pal." Fails again to show me the breathalyzer. "But by the time I get you downtown, you'll be below the legal limit, and you're less than a mile from home. I'll cut you a deal here sir. You get out of the car, walk home, and I'll just give you the ticket for running the stop sign. I've got to run, but I don't want to see you driving this car."

"Thank you officer." I'm releived, confused, but glad that my life hasn't been screwed up. I grab the beers, a few items from the car, lock it up and begin the short walk home.

Now, after getting home and reviewing the events and checking my ticket out; I come to some weird conclusions:
1. The back of the ticket is not filled out. It doesn't say if I have to appear in court, fines, court costs; nothing. I remember him saying I had to go to court, but the entire back side of the ticket was left blank.
2. I never saw the breathalyser results. I've never had to take one without the cop showing me my results.
3. There's no stop sign pulling out of the grocery store and onto the main avenue. I went back the next day just out of curiosity and there's nothing.

I talked to a few lawyer friends and they think I should take a few pics and fight the ticket. I wonder if I could just mail the ticket in with a picture in the envelope. Case closed right?

Posted by Id at June 27, 2005 09:13 PM
Comments

If there was no stop sign, what the hell is the ticket for?

Posted by: Wolf at June 28, 2005 07:52 AM

The ticket is for running a stop sign. I guess he thought there was one there, and I have this habit of not arguing with people who carry guns. I spoke with a friend last night, and he said it was bogus and I should try fighting it.

Posted by: shank at June 28, 2005 08:26 AM

Two ways to look at it.

1. Take a picture of no stop sign and fight the damned thing. You did nothing wrong. Of course, you live in the South and that might incite some haybender cop to make a hobbie out of you and constantly harrass you, up to and including the night stick enema. I don't know...I'm afraid of hillbillies, so I keep a low profile south of Delaware.

2. Pay the ticket and chalk it up to the Gods that you didn't get a blood test and a DUI.

I guess it all comes down to the ticket cost. Or go down and see Andy and Aunt Bee, they may be able to straighten it out.

Posted by: Wolf at June 28, 2005 10:47 AM

I'm going to talk to one other friend and see what he thinks my chances are. I'm probably going to try and fight it anyways just cause it's kind of in my nature. I have considered more than once though, the consequences of pissing off a local cop.

Posted by: shank at June 28, 2005 12:47 PM
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