You might want to grab a chair for this one.
Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, the Papa Moose, the Whole Enchilada will go before a California jury and answer to charges of child molestation. Yes, you know that. But let's take a refreshing dip in a little pool I like to call Perspective. Walk with me, back to 1982.
Watch your step...whoops - last one's a doozy; okay. Here we are you and me; black Ray Bans, Member's Only jackets, and haircuts that defy gravity. We're walking out of the record store with our freshly pressed vinyls of 'Thriller' when some guy approaches us and says "Betcha million bucks before 25 years pass, that guy goes up for child molestation."
We look at eachother, then back at Captain Dumbass. "You're on big man!"
"Twice."
"Twice?"
"Yeah fellas why not...double or nothin'."
"You might be dumb but you must be rich; that's a bet we'll take whole heartedly," we shuffle past the guy.
See, that's the kind of bet that makes men fortunes. If only I'da known. I think that it is a conspiracy though. The Beatles are behind it, they're pissed that he bought the masters. Rightly so if you ask me.
I lost my wallet last week. Actually, I didn't lose it, it was found and never returned. I know exactly where it dropped. I went back looking for it shortly thereafter, and it was gone. I had fallen behind the row seats we were sitting at in a movie theater. I went back the next morning and the sucker was gone. So someone found the bitch, and took it home. I had to cancel my credit and check cards, the blockbuster card, had to apply online for a duplicate driver's license. I have been more than two weeks without a license. I have been effectively cut off from my lifeblood - alcohol. Right now, I'm supposed to be drinking beer and blogging. Not blogging and sucking air. Good the thing old lady got a job bartending. I wonder if I'll have to resort to asking friends to buy me some?
It really sucks, not having a wallet. You can't do anything. No money to buy/do stuff, no ID. People don't even take checks anymore, and the few places that do want your ID, social security number, and a thumbprint in blood. Remember when the point of a check was that it was asa good as cash? Fuck, somebody buy me a beer.
Dude... I'd buy you a beer if you were here, maybe 2.
I'm on the other side, I'd like to go drinking I may even have the money to do it but the guilt from my wife is enough to stop me from going.... boo...
Just look what you're getting into!
Posted by: Oorgo at June 3, 2005 06:09 PM